Three Out of Four

They used to be so small, these girls. Isabella, Meilani, and Sebi. Of course Reilly is missing tonight as the computers cry out Hannah Montana soundtracks, the volleyball flies through the living room, the markers feverishly create fashion originals on paper, the wii bowling pops up for a quick round or two, and pasta is consumed in very large bowls.
The energy they create amongst each other is unchanged. The giggling still goes on, albeit periodically interrupted by the high drama of my own girl's persona. They change activities frequently and without warning.
40 years ago I was their age. It is inconceivable, entirely inconceivable that so much time has passed.....and that I am suddenly so old. Yet I relish their energy. They make me laugh out loud. They are perfect, beautiful creatures. There is nothing more perfect than little girls who are the best of friends. They are unabashed, unfettered, and undaunted. Their energy could power the world a hundred times over - just a handful of them. These three - all four - I love each of them like mad.
There is nothing in the world so special as your own child and the friends that they draw into their circles throughout their lives. May they continue forever to walk through the doors of my home, to be part of my life as they are my daughter's. This is my family. xoxox

the state of things

Today I started a new group in Facebook.

I get that it doesn't replace standing on street corners and knocking on doors.

I get that it's a passive act. But sometimes a small act is better than no act, and often the greatest of acts follow baby steps.

I get that it won't necessarily make me the most popular girl on the quad. But there are far more important things in this life, on this planet, in this world than what others think of little old me.

My question is, what the HELL does the governor of this state think about when he sits down with his family at night? When he watches the news and reads the papers? When he lays his head down on the pillow at night, what bedtime stories does he tell himself in order to be able to go to sleep?

Today I started a new group on Facebook.

Today I took action.

Wii Bowling

It is my current opinion that when the wii-motes come out and the sounds of the virtual bowling alley fill the living room, the world outside could very likely evaporate and those in this living room would be none the wiser.
Not so long ago this evening, the girls were dancing up a storm and watching a new tween movie, over and over again. The adults....talking the usual politics and life, and cooking up a veritable vegetarian feast. Apres dinner, the yawns begin, and the kids get goofy. It must be nearing bedtime.
And then the voice. "Hey, I didn't know you guys had a Wii." Well, yeah. And so out it comes. The batteries refreshed, the miis set up, and the motes strapped to the wrists, the first game begins. And suddenly bed time is on no one's mind. It's as if the sun has suddenly come back up into the sky, and the day is fresh.
Who needs the bowling alley? Night bowling in the carpeted living room with people you love. It doesn't get any better. xoxox

I, Homer

Doh!

For Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth.
First, I love you to death and miss you like mad!!
Second, I know that you are out there doing truly amazing things, living life to its absolute fullest, and making everyone proud.
Third, I'd like to share with you a set of lyrics that have been playing in my head for years now. Every time I think of you, it starts. And every time I hear the words on a radio, I think of you. And so, with a loving nod to both Dobie Gray and Uncle Kracker....

Thanks for the joy that you've given me
I want you to know I believe in your song
Your rhythm and rhyme and harmony
You've helped me along Makin' me strong

Thank you, my dear friend, for your love and kindness....and of course your brilliance.
May our lives continue to cross as we find adventure on life's pathways. I could not have made it this far without you.
Peace. xoxoxox

Balance happens

For once, the pieces are not all out of whack at once. There are three, you know. Life, Work, Self. When all are in a downward spiral, all perspective disappears. It begins to swallow you whole. Anguish is everywhere. Exhaustion is the rule, not the exception. And the days are either an eternity in passing or a millisecond.
The trick is to remember to look up. Literally. Look up. The sunlight, the blue sky, the white clouds. The grey clouds and pouring rain. The flashes of lightning in a rumbling sky. The pink and orange halo of a southern California sunset. It is much bigger than the individual moments in which we live our lives. And it is beautiful. Step outside, just for a moment.....of yourself, of the building, of the moment at which you find yourself tortured.
Smile back at the sky, for it is truly embracing you every moment.
Trust me. xoxoxox

The sunlight on the white house across the street

Those of us born on the westside vow at a very young age never to move "over the hill." My move happened past the point that I cared anymore for those particular cares of childhood. It happened when I had my own child, when the choice between commuting every day with my child on the freeway to drop her off at the company daycare or leaving her cared for near home and having even less time with her was in fact no choice at all.
I liked Burbank. It was small, quiet, and truly a community. In the past eight years, I have felt the growth of this city, often with some trepidation. I have watched local businesses close, the streets grow crowded, and the apartments and large houses proliferate. I have lived on streets where the only people that I every really knew were those right next to me, and MAYBE across the street. I came to believe that perhaps the community I saw was only in my imagination - that of a woman who desperately wants a home like the one in which she began her life. I began considering departure.
Last month we moved. We didn't go far, a mere seven blocks in fact. We are still in the same area code, and my daughter still goes to the same school. My favorite italian deli is at the corner, my friends are no further from me, and my job is still less than eight minutes away by car. But most importantly, I have discovered the city whose existence I'd begun to doubt. Our neighbors are unimaginably lovely, and the street feels calm, warm, and peaceful. The trees arch gently across the lawns and the streets, the yards are green and inviting, people stroll the sidewalks, and the periodic sounds of chatting voices are embracing.
And so as I sit here on my couch, the bright sunlight streaming across the clean white of the house across the street warms me. I can feel the warmth as it bounces off the walls and the bright white fence, and onto the driveway and green grass of the yard. There is a particularly bright triangle of sunlight on one corner of the fence that draws me. It is almost as if I can feel the sun work its way through to my bones, even from here in the house. It tells me that I am home, that we are welcome, my family and I. It embraces me unconditionally. And I embrace it back. I have found the city that I moved to many years ago. I am home. xoxox