Monday, September 28, 2009

Dear Dell Corporation .

Dearest Dell.

I would like to most sincerely thank you for your brilliant customer service and continued attention to the issue of my non-working Alienware laptop.
Your willingness to pay for my endless hours on the phone, as well as the lovely hold music that plays continuously while one is gently bounced from person, to person, to person, to person, clearly exceeds normal levels of compassion.
I stand in utter awe of the conviction of your employees to remain firm, and persevere in their position, regardless of actual relevance to my clearly unreasonable demands.
I apologize for perhaps raising my voice during these last two calls, especially since we have clearly established a close relationship during this past six weeks.  I realize now that my expectation of having a working $2k laptop, nearly three months after purchasing it, is obviously unreasonable.
And thank you, again, truly, for stopping the shipment of the replacement laptop, which would have sadly nipped our new relationship prematurely in the bud.
My passion for you has become impossible to contain.  I can no longer keep our relationship secret, and find myself simply bubbling over with endless recommendations to friends and family.
May you too enjoy the benefits of this relationship, as I have.


  1. Went through a similar experience with HP no doubt speaking to a young gentlemen from the same part of the world. After several hours on the phone, I felt somehow inducted into their culture and sympathized with them and the hostile natural elements they face. I keep the weather report for Bangalore, India on my iPhone to remind me on a bad day to at least appreciate the climate in my part of the planet.

  2. My darling, I believe I've been all over the world at this point. Leave it to you to find the bright side. :)

  3. Goodness, what a bunch turkeys! I've never dealt with Dell, but I've had this experience many times as well with the Corporate Weasels!

    I think it's a great idea that you two fell in love and plan to make the babies after your lap top dance!

    Ha... terrible... At least you kept them deep in your heart the whole time!

  4. Get a Mac! PCs suck and so do their companies!